Desire, Passion, and Summer Jobs

In a moment I was hit with disappointment. I applied for a job a few weeks ago, went through the preliminary screening, did well during the interview, and was even offered a position on the team. Then a couple days later, the manager told me that they were making a few cuts and that they wouldn't be needing me after all. He told me if any positions open up within the program that I would be the first person called (yes, I bought that). So you will understand my shock and tinge of betrayal when I saw a job posting for the same program this morning and no email from anyone in the company.

I find myself confused. At one point I really wanted to work in this position because of the security that seemed to come with a high-paying, summer long program, but since then I've found another summer job. I can't help but to wonder, in my slight uncertainty and nervousness about taking this current position, if the job opening up again is a sign for me to join the crew! I might still shoot them an email to see if they would consider me or I might move forward with the new plans I've made for myself. I honestly feel like there's no guarantee that they will even come through after what happened the first time.

Decisions. The evolving factors that impact decisions are hard to sift through sometimes, and I wasn't counting on any of the factors changing at all, and now I have to rely on what my heart truly desires and where my passion lies this summer. 

I know that if I greatly desire some thing, then sometimes I will have to have the guts to stake something else on obtaining it. So forget the job that forgot me! I'm going to go ahead with the plans I made to be an activities counselor at a Christian summer day camp because I love the thought of working with kids for the summer in a city I've never been. I know it'll be a challenging but rewarding experience, and I don't see anything I would do this summer in Las Vegas being as cool as that.

The Better Days are coming.

♥ Britt T

At 3:00am, I'm trying to figure out where my heart is.

. . .

I think I know.

Don't Wait.

Who cares what they say.... Who are "they" anyway? hmm.

What’s for me or what’s not for me? That is the question.

I have been presented with so many wonderful opportunities, and I have a difficult time discerning which chances are good and which ones are just too good to be true. Sometimes I listen when my heart tells me that something is perfectly orchestrated for me to walk into and other times I’m weary if it’ll turn out how I imagine it. I have learned from past experiences that if I have to make plans, scheme, or overanalyze how something is going to happen, it’s usually not for me. If I just walk into it and things flow naturally, I don’t have to question it. It’s God’s will. I’ve had major examples of both, and now I trust my instinct to know the difference. Here are my best examples of each.

I really wanted to transfer to an out-of-state college. I call each time I applied to a group of schools “rounds,” and I did 3 rounds of applications. My freshman year, I applied to some very prestigious universities on the east coast, REJECTED. The next year, I applied to a few schools that were in the Washington, D.C. area. I had a couple of friends near there and a friend in the process of transferring. I thought I wanted to study broadcast in the nations capital. I must have been way off 'cause I don’t even remember receiving decision letters from all of those schools. Come to think of it… I may not have even submitted a complete application to any of those schools in this round.  Because I found a few more reasonable schools and I polished my applications. I was even involved in a program that helped transfer students transition into these universities. I got accepted to all schools I applied. NO FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE. Ughh. I was convinced that was where I was supposed to be, it was my city of choice… but not in my desired major. My heart hurt for a long time after that round. It was clear as 4K Ultra HD technology that I was not supposed to transfer at all. (Clearly, I’m stubborn.)

Since I stayed home and did not borrow any money to attend college out of state, I knew I had to study abroad. I was going to get my studying away from home experience someway! When I made up my mind to study abroad, everything fell into place. I narrowed down the country and city and I found the perfect class that was designed just for me to take, Travel Writing. Love it. I had access to funds, deadlines weren’t an issue, and it was used as the final credit for my BA. I like to call my study abroad experience my graduation gift to myself. Everything worked out seamlessly. I wouldn’t say effortlessly but it went so smooth that I wasn’t used to not having resistance. The resistance was God’s way to telling me that it wasn’t for me. Everything was so hard before I found what was designed perfectly for me. I’ll say that the lessons I learned and the growth and skills I attained from those rounds of applications allowed things to go much smoother when it came time to study abroad. In a sense, I had already been there and done all the necessary paperwork for that. It was just a matter of putting that energy into the right project. I can recognize all that after the fact. Now I have to learn to see that in whatever situations come now. I’ve got to learn the difference between obstacles and signs.

To The Better Days:

Job 12:12-13                                                                                                 ♥ Britt T

 * Job 12:12-13  12 Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding? 13 "To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his. *

As I start this day, I am happy with my decision.

I decided to move on from my current job to pursue others interests. *I smile* And after this last four hour shift, I will exhale and find a state of relief. This journey has been long. I fell into this particular job, and I began to love it. I have represented all kinds of all-natural food brands, from ketchup to skin care to juice cleanses. I've learned so much about the food I eat. It was time well spent and it is time to move forward. When I shared the good news with one of the friends I met on the job, I was taken aback by his response. I told him that it was my last day at that store and I wouldn't be doing demos anymore. I told him that I felt good about it. It was my time to go. His response, as a man of God, "That's not what God's saying to me." I looked at him. And as a women of God, I responded, "God doesn't have to go through James. He doesn't have to run anything by you or tell you anything about my life. He told me that it's ok to leave and that's all I need. I trust him and I'm leaving." THE NERVE OF HIM!

I'd taken some time off of the job for the holidays and when I showed up to work he commented on how balanced I looked. I'm so balanced because I haven't been in this place lately! And then he tells me that my season for working there isn't over. God already told me that it's my time to go, sorry bro. I'll admit it, sometimes I start to question it and rethink and reanalyze my situation, but I'm going to stand firm in what I know is true. As we stood in awkward silence, James then brought up a coworker who has been complaining for almost 2 years now and how she says that "her time to leave is coming, she can feel it." Me too girl! I felt it. I listened. And I'm outta here! Sometimes you just have to trust what He tells you and walk in it. No one else can tell you what God has told you. And sometimes no one else will confirm what God tells you. Oh well! Trust God and trust yourself. I know my time is definitely done because I can see how much I've grown at this job. I would have felt insecure and weary about my decision and began to question myself had that interaction happened two months ago. SO. Stand firm in your decisions. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Don't let anyone talk you out of your dream.  You are the only one living your life. Trust yourself. I may be in a transition right now, but I'm sure I'll have lots of good things to report back to James after I'm gone ;) I trust that I will.



To The Better Days:
Psalms 119: 97-99                                                                                                  ♥ Britt T





 *Psalms 119: 97-99  97Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. 98 Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. 99 I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. *