What No One Really Tells You About College That You Must Know

I was wandering through the shelves at my local library looking for books on internships. Since I’m a little late on my internship game, I wanted books that listed various internships, books that told you how to get internships, books that suggested different ways to find internships within your community, books with strategies on how to get the most out of your internship, and just anything about internships. That’s when I stumbled across Sheryl Walker’s The Black Girl’s Guide to College Success: What No One Really Tells You About College That You Must Know. What a tell-all title! And this book does exactly that.

I started with the chapters that were most significant to me, since I graduated from college exactly two years ago, and I read through the tips that interested me most. The internship section is very through, starting with how to craft the best resume to get you the interview, how to be well prepared for the interview (with what to wear, researching the company beforehand, questions to ask, how to woo them by being yourself), and the protocol after the interview. She even gives good information on how to milk your internship, i.e. getting a mentor. Very impressed with the first chapter I read, I had to head over to the chapter on mentors. I struggle with networking and maintaining strong professional relationships, so this was very insightful. She mentions the easy little efforts like sending a follow-up email within twenty-four hours that can really make a difference.

She even goes into studying abroad, which I’ve done and cherish with all my heart, and not being too hard on yourself. And the relationship section plainly states “Don’t Hook Up Too Soon,” but she takes a realistic attitude on all the situations young women find themselves in at this age and even after college. From being the girlfriend, not the girl on the side and groupies to break-ups, to sex, sexual assaults, and ways to weed out the bad apples so you can grab a good guy, she touches on it all, honey!  

This little book is stuffed with tons of great advice in everyday language. Overall, it’s just an encouraging book that helps any women from teens to young adults through these years of transition. If you are going through it, odds are this book touches on it with the healthy and practical tips to keep you moving through to the other side. I’m glad I came across The Black Girl’s Guide To College Success. This book is for us, but it’s written so well and the advice is so relevant that any girl can relate to it and learn from Walker. It’s a gem; I think I’ll buy my own copy!

They say these are the best years of our lives, but this is a rough transition. All I can do is really cherish the good moments and say to myself, "This too shall pass," through the bad.       ♥ Britt T

Good Morning, Monday

It's Monday and as I think on my past week, both good and bad events, I'm happy with the ways things happened. I won't discount the bad because I tried to respond with a positive action. Here's a list of the beautifully simple things I was left with. 

~Eating a pint of Butter Pecan ice cream more than once this week  (it's getting hotter :p Yum!)

~Finishing up some work in the light of a giant window at my local library  (I used to visit libraries all the time, I remembered that there's such a peace there)

~Hand washing my car early Sunday morning because my dad was coming to church with me

~Enjoying long conversations on the phone with my grandma more than twice this week

~Receiving mail that isn't a bill or a check

~Going out to a bar with a friend only to leave an hour later to go home and talk at the kitchen table

~Reading for fun! Being enveloped by the story.

~Watching the morning news.  (1 being up that early and not having to go to work. 2 not having to go to work!)

~And no rush to do any of it. I almost feel like I don't want to grind this Monday morning. Can't we stay in bed a little longer? ;)


Enjoy today.

Get 'er done!

"Done is better than perfect. As I like to say, you need to know when good enough is good enough."


I am so guilty of not getting something done because it's not perfect. I can't help that I'm a perfectionist. Although, at this point, I need to get it together. I have several tasks at hand that need to be done. I have given myself deadlines for these tasks and have extended the deadlines because "it's not quite there yet." It's not as good as it can be, and I don't want to half-staff it.  ;)

I do this all the time.  Not purchasing my plane ticket for a trip because I want to score the lowest price, get the best deal. I even do this with blog posts. I've got a concept but not the time or resources to fully develop it or say all the right things and BAM! never posted. I've got to avoid perfectionism, not fall prey to procrastination, and take action. Sometimes you just have to go with it and know it's right the way that it is. You never know, what you have could be exactly what someone needs, whether you deed it worthy or not. And remember, there will be time to fine-tune.


SO. The task at hand will be done by (I'll give myself some time because hey, I do still need time) TOMORROW night.

No excuses. No questions. No last minute additions. No need for revisions. I will hit the submit button TOMORROW night.

I like this. Get ready to see some stuff happen, lovelies. No more waiting and perfection. hahah Oh, I'm almost scared what you'll see then  ; p  This should be fun.

To The Better Days:

Ecclesiastes 11:6                                                                                                   ♥ Britt T

6 Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.

Read On!

Last night, Ari and I sat outside on the porch for our usual Sunday afternoon chat. She painted her nails while her son ran around the backyard, and I enjoyed the scene and listened. We caught up on everything new in our lives because we haven't seen each other a lot lately. I brought up a few things that I started and have wanted to do. I complained that they're just too boring for me to follow through and how I always justify not doing it with an excuse. Case in point, running. I had a running routine going for about a week until I got bored. It's probably because I was running alone and didn't have a partner encouraging me to continue. I let myself quit. "It's not that it's hard, running is just sooo boring." Another example, I set a goal to read a book for at least 15 minutes a day, everyday of March. I have not done it one day, and I even came up with a loophole on top of my excuses. "I read the bible so that counts as my 15 minutes. Oh, I don't have anything interesting to read... I don't mind reading, it's just that the hardest part is picking up the book.” I allow myself to get away with these petty reasons. 

It all became clear to me: I will succeed when I am held accountable to someone else. I hate the thought of disappointing people, but I clearly have no problem with not keeping promises to myself. Last night, Ari encouraged me to follow through on these goals. She gave me The Hunger Games to read and told me to read for 30 minutes. I don't want to let her down, and I know she'll be checking to see if I did it. 

For the most part, we can count on ourselves to stay motivated in achieving our personal goals, but there are some rules we will allow ourselves to break. In those cases, we should reach for the help of another to keep us on track. Answering to someone else is different, and can be more effective, than answering to our selves. Being held accountable to another person has already revitalized my commitment to this goal and myself. And if not for anything more, having another person involved lets you share your progress and celebrate your triumphs with someone. It feels good to turn this around and show her that I'm sticking to my word.  I BETTER GET READING!

To The Better Days:

Proverbs 27:17                                                                                                 ♥ Britt T

 *Proverbs 27: 17   17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. *

Give me a clean heart

This song has been on my heart and mind and soul and in my spirit for a week now. Me and Court were jammin' to it last weekend and I have been ever since. Such beautiful words and such a soul soothing groove. I feel good. Everything feels alright. No chains Lord, I'm offering up my weakness for His strength e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. Anywho, take a listen. You won't regret it :))
Give me a clean heart by Fred Hammond

To The Better Days:

Psalm 51:10                                                                                                 ♥ Britt T

 *Psalm 51:10  10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. *

Dear Anjelica Fernandez,

After distracting myself and keeping busy by putting all my energy into pulling the project together and I just settled on the subject matter, my heart almost couldn't bear it. I have been thinking about you so much this month, it's almost like you're here. I drive by places we frequented as kids, I hear a song we made up our own words to, and I hear exactly how your voice would say something and the exact facial expression. Your laugh. Your smile. It's so real and all these images come back, and that's how I will remember you. You are the beautiful, joyful person who loved so hard and unconditionally. That's who I knew you as. This sadness is not one I can just sleep away, so I look forward to meeting in all the old familiar places. Your spirit will ride with me, it will guide me, and remain. You have impacted my life in ways that I'll never know. I loved you so much in the little time you were here, and everyone who knew you did, too. Rest peacefully, Anjelica. "Everybody loves you!" :)

To The Better Days:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4                                                                                                 ♥♥♥ Britt T

 *Ecclesiastes 3:1-4  1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance * 

Love, Love, Love

Good Morning, Lovelies. There's nothing super dramatic going on today. I woke up just as the mailman was leaving, which means my money is here (LOL HallelujahThankYouJesus!). I woke up to an ongoing and continually inspiring conversation with a very wise friend. I've got the coolest family, and I'm going to spend some time with them today. My friends lead amazing lives, and their endeavors make me want to do better for myself. The dogs aren't barking. My bedroom is warm. I Can't Complain. I may walk out of my bedroom and things could change, but from where I sit, I am happy. I am healthy, and I am loved. That's all I've ever wanted. That's all I need right now, and I feel a great sense of peace. I hope your day and your weekend prove that you have a good life, too.

To The Better Days:

John 15:12                                                                                                 ♥ Britt T

 *John 15:12  12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. *

What’s for me or what’s not for me? That is the question.

I have been presented with so many wonderful opportunities, and I have a difficult time discerning which chances are good and which ones are just too good to be true. Sometimes I listen when my heart tells me that something is perfectly orchestrated for me to walk into and other times I’m weary if it’ll turn out how I imagine it. I have learned from past experiences that if I have to make plans, scheme, or overanalyze how something is going to happen, it’s usually not for me. If I just walk into it and things flow naturally, I don’t have to question it. It’s God’s will. I’ve had major examples of both, and now I trust my instinct to know the difference. Here are my best examples of each.

I really wanted to transfer to an out-of-state college. I call each time I applied to a group of schools “rounds,” and I did 3 rounds of applications. My freshman year, I applied to some very prestigious universities on the east coast, REJECTED. The next year, I applied to a few schools that were in the Washington, D.C. area. I had a couple of friends near there and a friend in the process of transferring. I thought I wanted to study broadcast in the nations capital. I must have been way off 'cause I don’t even remember receiving decision letters from all of those schools. Come to think of it… I may not have even submitted a complete application to any of those schools in this round.  Because I found a few more reasonable schools and I polished my applications. I was even involved in a program that helped transfer students transition into these universities. I got accepted to all schools I applied. NO FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE. Ughh. I was convinced that was where I was supposed to be, it was my city of choice… but not in my desired major. My heart hurt for a long time after that round. It was clear as 4K Ultra HD technology that I was not supposed to transfer at all. (Clearly, I’m stubborn.)

Since I stayed home and did not borrow any money to attend college out of state, I knew I had to study abroad. I was going to get my studying away from home experience someway! When I made up my mind to study abroad, everything fell into place. I narrowed down the country and city and I found the perfect class that was designed just for me to take, Travel Writing. Love it. I had access to funds, deadlines weren’t an issue, and it was used as the final credit for my BA. I like to call my study abroad experience my graduation gift to myself. Everything worked out seamlessly. I wouldn’t say effortlessly but it went so smooth that I wasn’t used to not having resistance. The resistance was God’s way to telling me that it wasn’t for me. Everything was so hard before I found what was designed perfectly for me. I’ll say that the lessons I learned and the growth and skills I attained from those rounds of applications allowed things to go much smoother when it came time to study abroad. In a sense, I had already been there and done all the necessary paperwork for that. It was just a matter of putting that energy into the right project. I can recognize all that after the fact. Now I have to learn to see that in whatever situations come now. I’ve got to learn the difference between obstacles and signs.

To The Better Days:

Job 12:12-13                                                                                                 ♥ Britt T

 * Job 12:12-13  12 Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding? 13 "To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his. *

As I start this day, I am happy with my decision.

I decided to move on from my current job to pursue others interests. *I smile* And after this last four hour shift, I will exhale and find a state of relief. This journey has been long. I fell into this particular job, and I began to love it. I have represented all kinds of all-natural food brands, from ketchup to skin care to juice cleanses. I've learned so much about the food I eat. It was time well spent and it is time to move forward. When I shared the good news with one of the friends I met on the job, I was taken aback by his response. I told him that it was my last day at that store and I wouldn't be doing demos anymore. I told him that I felt good about it. It was my time to go. His response, as a man of God, "That's not what God's saying to me." I looked at him. And as a women of God, I responded, "God doesn't have to go through James. He doesn't have to run anything by you or tell you anything about my life. He told me that it's ok to leave and that's all I need. I trust him and I'm leaving." THE NERVE OF HIM!

I'd taken some time off of the job for the holidays and when I showed up to work he commented on how balanced I looked. I'm so balanced because I haven't been in this place lately! And then he tells me that my season for working there isn't over. God already told me that it's my time to go, sorry bro. I'll admit it, sometimes I start to question it and rethink and reanalyze my situation, but I'm going to stand firm in what I know is true. As we stood in awkward silence, James then brought up a coworker who has been complaining for almost 2 years now and how she says that "her time to leave is coming, she can feel it." Me too girl! I felt it. I listened. And I'm outta here! Sometimes you just have to trust what He tells you and walk in it. No one else can tell you what God has told you. And sometimes no one else will confirm what God tells you. Oh well! Trust God and trust yourself. I know my time is definitely done because I can see how much I've grown at this job. I would have felt insecure and weary about my decision and began to question myself had that interaction happened two months ago. SO. Stand firm in your decisions. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Don't let anyone talk you out of your dream.  You are the only one living your life. Trust yourself. I may be in a transition right now, but I'm sure I'll have lots of good things to report back to James after I'm gone ;) I trust that I will.



To The Better Days:
Psalms 119: 97-99                                                                                                  ♥ Britt T





 *Psalms 119: 97-99  97Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. 98 Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. 99 I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. *

I hear a Cry for CHANGE.

I don't know about you, but sometimes you just feel things changing. Maybe a sting is getting more painful or a dim light seems to be growing a little brighter. I would say that's the cry for change that we should acknowledge. Today, in my life, that sting turned into a gash and that light is scorching my eyes. It can’t be ignored anymore and it’s pushing me to take action. This morning, that cry has turned into a wail.

I recently read a book that a customer at Whole Foods recommended to me. We talked about my current job and he asked me what my career plans were. I shared with him my frustrations and my search for direction. He suggested I read a book called "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson, M.D. The title sounds crazy, right? It was a few weeks before I actually picked it up and a few weeks before I actually read it, but I was inspired when I read it. It's a short story about two mice and two little people living in a maze and enjoying their cheese. The Cheese can represent anything that means something to you and the goals you want to achieve… that job you always dreamed of having, the relationship you are in, your financial situation... One day, the two mice and the two little people woke up and headed to the spot where their cheese usually waits for them. The cheese wasn't there. Once the cheese was gone, the characters go about finding new cheese in different ways. Change occurs, and your success depends on your approach.

After reading this story, I could identify with one of the little people. The one who was slow to go out and search for new cheese. I am the person who likes to know that it'll be safe out there in the maze before I go out. Is there even cheese to be had in a different part of the maze? I'm that person who kinda wants to wait and see if maybe the cheese will reappear in a couple of days and they were just tricking me. Valuable time passes while I'm overanalyzing these things and I'm NOT setting out to find new cheese. A lot of thinking is happening, but nothing productive is getting done. The goal is cheese. The cheese was moved. WHY AM I WAITING, with no cheese, FOR CHEESE TO COME BACK TO ME WHEN IT’S IMPERATIVE THAT I HAVE CHEESE NOW? GO FIND CHEESE. New and scary cheese out there is better than no cheese in here. After that clear picture was painted, I realized that I have to learn to adapt to change more quickly. "The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese." I would be able to realize change is approaching if I paid attention to the subtle changes. There are always hints, inklings, signs, and sometimes there are verbal cues that tell you to get on your toes because change is acomin'. I just have to notice it and be ready to move with the change. Don't let the sting turn into a gash, don't let the light burn your eyes, and don't wait for a cry to turn into a wail. I'm going to try harder to heed these warning signs and get an edge on inevitable change. Who knows, maybe I’ll find a beautiful surprise waiting for me out there.

To The Better Days:
Isaiah 40:29-31                                                                                                   ♥ Britt T







   * Isaiah 40:29-31 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.*

This is where I want to be... I so badly want to cuddle with Under The Tuscan Sun. I'm preparing for Italy :)

Since I've started this job, all I've wanted to do is read. Sit under the Tuscan sun and read, lay in bed and r e a d. I have the urge to just enjoy a good, written story. And eventually, I want a room in my house designated for reading, like a library. Nothing too grand, but it's gotta be a comfortable place that has lots of books, magazines, movies, and CDs.. with a big, comfy couch. I imagine this is it, with a modern twist:

(source: fritzhansen)